Here is a video of Eric Thomas, who goes by the name of the Hip Hop Preacher, speaking with some students on what it takes to be successful.

His message is very powerful.

Enjoy.

As more people compete for the same market, things invariably have to change.

One of the changes I notice is business is moving from from "taking" to one of "giving".

When we start in business, it is all about recouping our investment so the focus is on getting the money in. And you can definitely tell the businesses with this mindset!

The new model is about "Giving". How can I add value? How can I be more informative? It's about giving free information.

Does your website and promotional info talk about you or your customer?

Do you give away valuable information?

Are you committed to making your client's day easier, happier and more financial?

What can you give to help others?

I’m frequently consulting with students who are not coping (for many reasons), teachers who are doing it tough and parents who are doing it even tougher.

I’m also reading about students, parents and teachers who are all becoming more stressed out. Students face the challenges of bullying, alcohol, violence and the need to perform. Teachers have to deal with these students and other teachers who can create stress. Parents want what's best for their child and hate to see them suffering. They also have the stress of drugs, alcohol, sex and depression.

It appears whatever information the powers to be are giving out is not working.

In society, the news is full of violence, alcohol and disrespect. There is a lack of respect for self and others. There are not enough police. Judges are too lenient on offenders.

A lot of statements and nothing changes. The wheels appear to be falling off.

We need a change. And we need it quickly.

While I have my ideas and am keen to get a project off the ground, I’m really keen to hear yours ideas.

I'm looking to start a discussion so we cam all work in the same direction and find a solution rather than continue to talk about the problem - see my article here.

    What do you think the key problems are?

    What are the solutions?

    What would you like to see happen?

Please leave your comments below ("Leave a reply") which will be viewed by the public.

If you would like them to remain personal, please send them to clive@clivemurphy.com

Thank you for participating.

 

 

 

Seven years ago Matt Johns and another footballer took a 19 year old bar girl back to their room for sex.

While in the process of the act, seven other team members entered the motel room via the door and window and all but one had sex with the lady.

Matt says the girl was willing with every man – she knocked one back.

A co-worker of the lady says she was skiting for days about her conquest.

Five days after the incident, the lady in question reported to the police she had been taken advantage of. The police cleared all footballers of any wrongdoing.

Seven years later the lady has come out on an ABC Four Corners Program and brought it all up.

Matt Johns has lost all his jobs because of what was in the report.


What did go on?

We will never know as only those present know the truth.

Should Matt have participated in sex?

He was married so not in my book.

Should the girl have gone with two men back to their room?

No. As the saying goes, you can’t put an old head on young shoulders and I believe that up until around 25 years of age, people are not able to accurately predict the consequences of their action. Blind Freddy could have seen having sex with two footballers at the same time would lead to more being involved.

Should it?

No. The men showed no respect for themselves, the lady, their club or their code of football. They should have known better.

While group sex happens in many areas – from rock bands to sporting teams – and has done so for a long time - the people involved (both male and female) need to be aware of what can go wrong and the consequences of performing such an act.

While this is in the news regularly, it appears neither the players nor the young ladies are learning.

It is easy for some young person to want to have sex (and a possible relationship) with a sporting star. It may sound great when telling their friends but the consequences can be extreme.

The final say goes to the police who have investigated it and come up with a decision.

Let me know what you think.

How could the legal system get it so wrong?

This is where you wonder whatever happened to common sense!

IN the Melbourne Sunday paper, there is an article about a father who separated from his wife 11 years ago. They have a daughter who is currently 11 years of age. According to the article, the father has been forbidden by the courts from seeing his daughter for the past 10 years.

Why, you may ask. What has he done wrong?

Well, it appears, nothing.

The court has had him assessed by experts and they all say he is of good character. He has never assaulted his wife or daughter or done anything to harm them. In fact, his wife has twice accused him of molesting their daughter – which has been proven on both occasions to be false.

The reason given by the court as to why he is not allowed to see his daughter until she is “of age” is “the court accepted she [the mother] would ‘shut down’ emotionally if Steve [the father] was allowed to see his daughter and that her distress would affect her parenting skills.”

Here’s my take on this.
1. Where one parent purposely lies to the court to get custody or to get the court to rule that the other parent is unfit to parent, the liar should be severely punished.

2. Where one parent reports the other parent molesting the child, and it is proven that (i) the parent didn’t molest the child, and (ii) the accusing parent made the report because of the need to punish the other parent, the accusing parent should lose custody. This is serious stuff and impacts on a lot of people. I’ve consulted with people whose lives have been wrecked because of false allegations.

3. Stopping a separated parent from seeing their child because the caring parent would ‘shut down’ emotionally and the distress would affect their parenting skills if the separated parent did see them is a load of crock! Get some help. If you can’t get over it, give the child to other parent who can deal with it. This is not a valid reason for stopping the other parent (who has done everything right) from having access.


Is anybody thinking of the child?

Children are often the pawns, torn between parents who decide they are going to punish each other regardless of the cost. Parents who will do anything to one-up their ex.

The bottom line is, parents who do not want to do the right thing by the child, should not be parenting the child.

The child didn’t ask for this. He/she came into this world with the expectation that both parents would love them and care for them.


If you have a child or children and you are going to separate:

• Get some help and fix any personal problems you may have. Especially problems that will stop you from being a great parent.

• Remember, your child is what is important. Imagine how they are feeling. They want both of you together (ideally). If this can’t happen, ensure they still have contact with both parents. The ones who do shared custody seem to do the best.

• Set rules. Ones that both parents abide by so the child has the same set of standards in both homes.

• Never bag your ex out in front of the child. Never ridicule or degrade them. Keep your comments to yourself or air them to someone “who cares”.

Being a parent means being responsible and considering the needs and wants of the child. It means always providing them with a soft spot to land. It means teaching them how great relationships work, how to be a great parent and how to get the best from life.

You are their mentor. They depend on you.

Every day, the news is full of the Wall Street - Stock Market - crash and how it impacts on us.

I often hear people speaking of how much money they have lost in shares, how tough things are and how tough they are going to get.

If you have money invested, you may find yourself worrying about your future.

Here's my take on it (which is a little different) ...

Problem v's Solution

Every problem has a solution. If you continue to focus on the problem, will it get better or worse?

Worse. What you focus on expands. The more you focus on how tough things are, the worse they become.

Worrying about it is not going to produce a new result. It will only make you feel emotionally worse - even depressed.

Shift your focus to the solution.

What can you do to "ride out the storm"?
What strategies can you put into place?
What are the thoughts you need to have?

From Another Perspective

The Law of Attraction states that what you think and feel, you draw to yourself.

If you focus on "loss", you draw more loss to you. If you focus on how financially tight things are, you attract more financial hardship.

See what you do have in terms of abundance and wealth.

You may be saying "I'm not wealthy".

If you are not wealthy, you must be poor. Seeing yourself as "poor" will cause you to think and act as a poor person - thus attracting more of the same!

If you see yourself in this way, it may be time to do a stock-take of your life. What do you own? What are you worth? How much money do you have in the bank and invested? Make a list.

Create a base for what you do have and then find ways to build on this. How can you earn more money? (We found a neat way that anyone can do and I will share this with you in a few weeks). In other words, what do you have to do to get through?

You may even say an affirmation, like
"Money flows easily to me"
"I receive unexpected cheques in the mail."

In summary, keep your thinking positive with what you do have and what you can do with what you have.

If you do have financial problems, get some financial counselling or consult with a financial planner. Remember, sooner is better than later.

Also, most of the "experts" say this financial situation is going to turn around. What strategies do you need to have in place to get yourself through?

Warren Buffett, regarded as one of the World's richest men, has an interesting outlook on the current crisis:

"A simple rule dictates me buying. Be fearful when others are greedy, and be greedy when others are fearful".

Many years ago I wrote an article on how to have great memory. I thought it would be great to share this with you as I am consulting with many who would like to improve this area of their life.

The only problem is, I've forgotten where I put it!

Good memory is something that is available to everyone - provided you do not have a medical condition that impairs it.

Nine ways to achieve a great memory:

1. Tell yourself you have great memory. Many say, "My memory is hopeless" and "I'm so forgetful". What you think becomes self-fulfilling. You will never disappoint yourself. To have great memory, you first have to see yourself achieving it.

2. Relax. Most people place themselves under pressure when they need to remember something. The more pressure you place yourself under, the less chance you have of remembering it. A good example is exams. People who place themselves under pressure generally have "their mind go blank".

3. Talk to yourself in terms of what you want. Instead of saying "I have forgotten". Say "Relax. The information is popping into my mind". When you have forgotten some-one's name, tell yourself this and your mind instantly begins a memory search. You will be surprised how well it works.

4. Place energy into that which you would like to remember. Many people, especially those involved in business, have too many things happening at the same time. If you are reading an article while someone is speaking with you, there is a great chance you will remember little about both. Too much is going on.

Good memory comes from giving that which you would like to remember your full attention.

5. Have repetition. You learnt your 5 times table through repetition. When I meet people for the first time, I constantly repeat their name verbally and under my breath.

6. Drink plenty of water. Water hydrates you and helps improve your memory. And No, alcohol does not count as water. Alcohol dehydrates your body and messes with your thinking. Other liquids to avoid include soft drinks (as they contain sugar) and caffeine.

7. Eat memory foods. According to Keith Lugton, a naturopath, the best brain foods are green vegetables (especially the ones that contain folic acid) and fish. The ones to avoid are junk foods and especially those high in sugar. Keith says beware of those foods that easily covert to sugar - like pasta and potatoes. 1 bowl of pasta is equivalent to a 7oz glass of sugar!

8. Take supplements. Some supplements can help with your memory. Keith says the main ones include fish oil, folic acid, a good multi-vitamin and Vitamin C with bioflavonoids. Herbs such as Gingko Biloba, Bacopa, Dotu Kola can enhance mental alertness, clarity and memory.

**Importantly, if you are taking any medication, please consult with your doctor before taking supplements as some may react with your medication.**

9. Hypnosis/meditation. I often use hypnosis with students who are about to sit exams to (i) alleviate the fear, pressure and tension, and (ii) give them great memory by placing suggestions in their subconscious that they will remember the information they have learnt.