One of the questions I ask many of my clients is:

"What are your good points?"

While the most common response is "Oh, I don't know. I haven't got many", some do come up with a few.

What I notice is how they describe themselves.

"I suppose I'm a kind person".
"I think I'm a good worker".
"I believe I'm good to others".

What's wrong with these descriptions?

One problem is the 2nd word to each sentence.

Let me explain.

Here are four words:

Hope
Think
Believe
Know

... And you can place "Suppose" up the top there.

Of the above four words, which one is the most important?

Most people pick "Believe".

Let me give you an example. Imagine I owe you $5,000. Which statement would you prefer to hear?

"I hope I can pay you back"
"I think I can pay you back"
"I believe I can pay you back"
"I know I can pay you back"

Obviously, the last one.

It is definite, certain. The higher we go up the list, the more uncertain things become. "I hope I can pay you back" is very uncertain with "I think I can pay you back" more certain.

What you say describes what you are thinking.

"I think I'm a good person" reveals you are very uncertain about this. "I know I'm a good person" is total certainty.

The same applies to when you, or another person, says things like "I think I can do it", "I hope I can make that appointment" and "I believe that's right".

Action Plan

Become aware of when you use hope, think, believe and know. Change what you say to "I know ..." or to making a statement that involves certainty.

If someone else is using uncertain words - "I think I can make it" - ask them what part they are unsure of or what has to happen for it to become certain. For example, when someone says "I think I can do it", you can ask "What part are you unsure of?" to gain some clarity.

"I think I can make it" is a lot different to "I'll be there".

When someone says "I think I can make it", ask them for a commitment or you may just find yourself waiting a long time for them to arrive.

Good luck and let us know your thoughts.