Clive is the Principal of the Clive Murphy Self Empowerment Centre, a product, coaching and seminar business that empowers people to achieve their life potential.He is the author of four books relating to confidence, self esteem, relationships, motivation to lose weight and controlling how you feel.
Dr Bernie Siegel (a surgeon and best selling author of "Love, Medicine & Miracles") began a support group called Exceptional Cancer Patients Group (ECaP). This was to help people mobilize their full resources against their disease by giving them information on how to work with their disease and the things they could do to improve their health.
Dr Siegel believed the support group was much needed so sent out 100 letters to his patients thinking they would all want to get better and they would even bring others they knew who had cancer.
To his surprise, only 12 people turned up.
He began researching why. To summarise, he found there are three kinds of patient:
1. Those who wish to die.
They make up 15 - 20% of all patients.
"On some level they welcome cancer or another serious illness as a way to escape their problems through death or disease." These are the people who find life is too hard and they want an "out".
2. Those who go with the flow.
They make up 60 - 70% of all patients.
These are the patients who do what they are told. They attend all the appointments and take their medication. They follow doctor's orders. When given a choice, they would rather be operated on than doing something to get themselves well.
3. Those who are determined to live.
They make up 15 - 20% of all patients.
These are the exceptional patients who refuse to be victims. They will question what doctors and other health professionals say. They want to know as much information as they can - and they do this by questioning why certain tests and operations have to be done.
They also look at alternative treatments and work on what is best for them. If their doctor doesn't like it, they generally find one who will work with them.
Do the above figures shock you?
They shocked me because, just like Dr Siegel, I believed everyone wanted to get better.
And the cold hard fact is, they don't.
While these figures are for cancer patients, I also believe they are true for other illnesses and for mental health problems like depression.
I know, when a partner is dragged into my office to help fix their problem, 90% of them do not want to be there. They're not interested. On their information sheet, they have given the reason for their attendance as "My partner says I have a problem."
Become aware, when you suggest a course of action to people who are ill, feeling low or doing it tough, how many of them do what you suggest. I imagine very few. Even though what they are doing is not working, they will not try something that has worked for others. They would prefer to continue to do what's not working.
A number of things come from these figures:
- You can't make a person get better. It's their choice. Quite often you can want more for them than they do. As the old saying goes, "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink". Give these people the necessary information and trust, when their way ceases to work, they give yours a go.
- If you have an illness or a problem with some aspect of your life, keep looking for solutions. If Plan A does not work, go to Plan B, C or D. Continue to investigate possible solutions.
- A terminal illness may not be terminal if treated correctly.
- Do not blindly accept what you are told by any health professional. I often see clients who have been wrongly diagnosed. Some have had many organs taken out and the original health problem is still with them.
- If you are not sure on what you have been told, get a second opinion. It is your body, your mind and your life. You have to be accountable to yourself. It's better to be sure than sorry.
- If one person can beat a terminal illness, there is a good chance others also have the ability to beat it. Research what works and give it a go.
- In reading Dr Siegel's book, it was interesting to see how powerful your mind is in contributing to stress (and lowering your immune system) and creating peace (raising your immune system).
- It takes more than a positive mindset to beat a debilitating disease. You also need to have peace of mind and to feel loved.
Through taking control of your health and what is best for you, you give yourself the best possible start to creating good health.
Dr Siegel says the best results are often achieved when the doctor and the patient both work together on what is best for the patient.
Whether you have a debilitating illness (like cancer) or you feel healthy, "Love, Medicine and Miracles" is an empowering read as it gives an in-depth look from a surgeon's perspective at what needs to happen to give the patient the best chance of survival.